When Too Many 'LIKES' is Not a Style of Communication that I Like

A glimpse of local mindset: listening to local talk

My previous experiences living out of my home country taught me some things. To really integrate as a local, we need to listen to local talk by real locals. This takes place in the most mundane and unassuming setting like the supermarket, the local shops and metro trains. It is not about the accent, it about how a simple, daily matter is being expressed verbally by a local. Many times I find the best way to get a glimpse of the psyche of a different culture is when I ask for directions or clarifications on operational matters. 

I find that in a dozen occasions, the answer does not come in a forthright manner. From checking airport shuttle over the phone, to asking for the correct platform to take the metro train, to asking for assistance at the self check-out counter at Giant Supermarket, I had thought that the way I phrased my question would only require an answer of ‘yes’ or ‘no’, or an answer that need no more than four words. Each time the answer would not be straight forward, and often is a piece of side information that does not address the question. I believe it is a cultural difference in the use of English language. 

It's like this, it's like that...But what exactly do you mean?

The fact that we stay in an undergraduate accommodation complex, at The Varsity, has given me a chance to listen to the undergraduate residents' chats in the elevator, at the student union cafe and on the UM shuttle bus. The talk is often lengthy description of scenarios and feelings. The descriptions are littered with some form of incomplete analogies. For example, in describing one's displeasure over another's behaviour, instead of saying ‘I was irritated with his bluntness’, the undergraduate would say ‘I was like....really, really not happy with the way like.. he said…….. ……. and he was like …… ..... ...... and it was like...... ...... ...... ’. 

The word ‘like’ is profusely used in conversations, and more often, one such description requires a good three minutes to bring across some sort of a point, which could easily have been made with greater clarity in thirty seconds if all the 'like... this and that..' are replaced with real adjectives. The style and habit in the use of verbal language is expansive, repetitively rhetorical rather than efficient and effective. I find that there is a similarity in the lack of proper adjectives in the use of Mandarin by teenagers in Singapore.

However, I have observed the tendency to speak in such voluminous rigmarole of analogies significantly reduces in professional adults. To set it in context, my adults contacts here in Maryland are basically teachers. Well, at least that is more assuring, as I cannot imagine what teaching will become if all the teachers use the word ‘like’ fifty to seventy times in explaining a concept in a 45-minute lesson.

  Seriously, I

 too many 

in a conversation.

When too few words frustrates just the same
In a stark contrast, many of the youngsters in Singapore do not speak with clarity because of the deficit in proper word usage. I have had far too many students asking for assistance or advice with minimal number of words, in incomplete sentences or broken phrases. Many of them neither illustrate nor elaborate what they were trying to express and I have had to probe repeatedly before I know what they were asking or requesting, and that is also equally frustrating.

There has got to be some balance somewhere.

Till I write again....

A Little Reflection In Transit: When No Tinted Glasses Is Best

Just a few days ago, I visited Pennsylvania State University (PSU) to meet Professor Graeme Sullivan, the Director of PSU School of Visual Art. His book is a key reference for my Capstone Project and I have tried all possible ways to get an appointment with him. My persistence paid off and it was worth the a 6-hour Greyhound bus journey to meet the guru in the mountain.  

From State College to Harrisburg

The return trip would take me from the city of State College to Harrisburg, the state capital of Pennsylvania, before switching bus to Washington DC. 

At State College Greyhound Station, I noticed a group of 5 to 6 men wearing brand new but very ill-fitting and oversized Denim jeans and Denim lined jackets. They all had white T-shirts inside. I didn't think much of it but I have observed they all seemed to be wearing the same XXXL size jackets despite their varying physical stature and clothing size. They all had shaven heads except for one. The ride to Harrisburg was not full, apart from this group of men, there were two other male passengers and myself. They were friendly to one another, took a cigarette puff together just before boarding the bus, but did not seemed to be friends as they sat apart and did not really chat during the ride.

After 2 hours, we arrived at Harrisburg and I saw the men pulling out sealed brown office boxes from the under carriage luggage compartment. They each took a box, and each box has a label of a an alphabet followed by a 4-digit number, and a name (I'd assume they were their names). Then I noticed while waiting in the transit room, one of them went to a corner and opened the box. The box has personal belongings and some papers. He transferred the items to a netting bag. I also noticed each man had the same netting bag. I guessed by this time that these men are ex-convicts, just  released from prison.  

When I reached my residence in College Park, MA., in the evening, I searched on Google and found out there is actually a mid-security prison in State College. Some of the inmates were given opportunities to work in farms during their incarceration. In fact PSU has a collaborative project with the prison. 

The way we see is often the way we CHOOSE to see

Some may ask me if I was scared. Well, perhaps it was good I didn't know anything from State College to Harrisburg. 

More importantly, I asked myself if I would behave differently had I knew, or would see them in any different light. In fact, the men were not rowdy and actually very polite. When one could see I was looking for space to put my bag in the under carriage compartment, he pushed his box further in to free up space. Another let me get off the bus first before him. It is a good moment to remind myself not to see people with tinted lenses. 

For these men, there are certainly going to be challenges ahead. Re-integration challenges are part of the consequences of whatever mistake they had made. I sincerely hope they will persevere. But I also hope the community where they are going to settle will help them integrate. There is hope yet. This reminds me of some shots I took on the bus while on the way to State College. The photos speak for themselves.

Everyone makes mistakes, some smaller and others bigger. Every mistake does come with consequences, and everyone should learn to accept consequences. Wisdom often comes with learning from mistakes, so everyone can be given a second chance.

Education should be helping students to learn to own accountability of their actions, and to learn to be gracious in helping others make amends.

Till next time......